SISI

Michelle Yvette Kendrick was born on Sunday, May 27th, 1962...Sisi is African...and it means born on a Sunday. She is the only girl her parents would have together, and is the only girl out of eight brothers. If you think she was protected and adored by all these brothers, think again. They were raised with strife, and still struggle to this day to be there for one another.

"Life, sho'nuff, ain't been no crystal stair for her." She knows abuse very well. Knows what it feels like to have an older brother physically abuse her. To later have a boyfriend also abuse her. Knows what it's like to be told she would always be on welfare with a bunch of babies, by her mother. Knows what it's like to be raped. Knows what it's like to be homeless. She is more than a victim. She is more than a survivor. She is my mother. And this portion of her story occurred before she had me at the tender age of 22. She prayed for me, and knew as early as her youth that if she ever had a girl...she would name her Jasmine.

Growing up with my mom was emotionally a lot. She and my grandmother have had a contentious relationship since I can remember. Often times, if feels like I'm in the middle, even now. But I love them both, and though I will never completely understand the trauma and pain my mother's story has caused or continues to cause her; at the hands of my grandmother, she will always have my compassion and my love.

One of the earliest memories of my mother involves the time burglars broke into our home. We managed to make it out of the house, but that didn't stop them from pursuing us. She was holding me and trying to run, but mom quickly realized that wasn't going to work. She put me down, and told me to run. There we were, holding hands, and running down the middle of the street, as a car with bright headlights nearly ran us down. I still remember those headlights to this day...

Mom would later tell me that the people who broke into our home were crack addicts, who were no less our next door neighbors. Our home on Ellsworth was in a bad neighborhood, but it was never intended to be our forever home. Mom was in Nursing school working us up out of the hood. And she did. She did. #determined

As a teenager, I had a love/hate relationship with her, which may not come as a surprise. Mom cursed a lot. She still does, if I'm going to be honest! When I was growing up though, I hated when she would curse at me. It was such a blow to my self-esteem. I have since come to realize that this was done to her, and unfortunately, she didn't know how to break the cycle with me. 

My mother in general is one of the most honest persons I know. Seriously, if you don't want the truth, don't ask her!!! She's gonna give it to you straight, no chaser, period! We have two completely different communication styles. Where I prefer to be mindful of my words and be gentle; mom, is much more straight to the point, with perhaps a few choice words here or there. Sometimes, stuff just can't sound pretty, it is what it is. I have learned you cannot be afraid to call stuff out for what it is, but doing so with some tack along the way, won't hurt either!

Her strength knows no end...like fo'real. My mother is the strongest woman I know. I can count on her. No matter what. She's an even better Abuela to Zay...the way she loves on him warms my heart so...Our relationship has been to hell and back, but Michelle is still my favorite girl. And nothing will change that. Ever. This is why it never ceases to amaze me when people believe they can talk about my mother to me. I experienced that as a child, which is why when I experience it now, I am quick to shut it down. 

I don't know where people get off feeling so comfortable as to think they can ever talk about my mother to me, but it's not cool. Don't ever think you're gonna get a pass trying to blast my mother to me because I'm not here for it. You will be checked, regardless of your gender. Did you grind through Nursing school to get me out the hood? Did you feed me? Did you provide a shelter for me? Were you there when this one or that one broke my heart? Didn't think so...#longliveSisi